Friday the 13th spells RELIEF

My husband and I met with Dr. P this morning at Yale Smillow Cancer Hospital and just as we suspected i have a "textbook" epidermoid tumor.

It was surreal being in a cancer hospital, seeing children and people with inconceivable diagnosis. One little boy we saw was being reassured by his mom that they "won't take blood in the tubes today"

Dr. P exactly what I had hoped for, straight forward, confident, kind, reassuring

• early riser
• coffee set up
• pro active approach 

Decided it was best to just get this over and done with so that we can return to normal life and hopefully have minimal impact on Maeve and a few other positives include

• cant drive anyway so why not get it done
• choosing to act now makes me feel like i am in control and we all know i am a control freak
• its freezing outside so if i have to be in the hospital why not when it is miserable out? i certainly do not want to be in the hospital in the summer
• hopefully we can still go to florida in march

Yes being diagnosed with a benign tumor is not fun and of course a little scary but honestly it is a damn relief, I have spent my life feeling like something was wrong with me and yeah I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and anorexia but people do not take mental disorders as seriously as they should (see my undergraduate research paper on mental health stigma) and the fact that I know have a lemon sized tumor in my head that may likely be impacting my attention, executive functioning, anxiety, etc is a relief...that is a sad statement but completely true and yet another reason why we really need biomarkers.

so things i need to do before surgery

• bloodwork and physical with my primary
• call obgyn to share my medical information (e.g. HELLP syndrome) to Yale and let them know that I have a tumor that could likely be  having an effect on my pituitary gland (eg hormones which may be related to my low hormone levels, infertility, lack of any interest in sex, etc)
• get into contact with cognitive remediation psych research
• ???neuroscience department??
• call psychiatrist to update on everything
• tell work that I will be out for a while
• contact Monsignor Weiss
• love and enjoy my family