Anxiety and feeling inadequate

I know I am 6 weeks post brain surgery but i feel so useless. I continue to struggle with getting easily overwhelmed and feeling like I am on the verge of a panic attack every time I go out in the community and am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to handle leaving the house again. I am also so cognitively out of it that I cannot be the mom that I need to be for Maeve and she really needs to be in daycare more but since I cannot work I do not get paid and therefore cannot send her to daycare. Speaking of my job, I know that it is not what I want to do (I really want to get involved with research on biomarkers for ASD)I also just cannot do it as the unpredictability and sensory/social overstimulation makes me very anxious and on the verge of a panic attack....I  have really struggled with this mental fog and sensitivity to sensory/social stimulation since my seizure and wonder what could be the cause: the concussion and then brain surgery or the keppra? I hate feeling like I am going to have a panic attack after driving my daughter to daycare and going to the grocery store....they only time I do not feel anxious is when I am hyper focused on a task. How can I live this way? I called my doctor and will be meeting him next week instead of next month to switch from Keppra.

2/7 post surgery limitations and frustrations

I have not really used facebook in years but find myself checking the site daily to read update in a wonderful community about individuals with Epidermoid Tumors (The Epidermoid Tumor Society or EBTS) and it has been and continues to be an incredible resource throughout this entire process. I love being able to connect with individuals with whom I can relate and turn to for support. For example, someone posted today about being anxious before surgery and then having the surgery not so bad but getting frustrated at not being able to pick up her children afterwards; since I completely related I posted the following reply:

" I completely relate to your experience! The anxiety prior to surgery was about 10x worse than the surgery itself. I also have a young daughter and it is incredibly frustrating being able to pick her up and play with her as I used to (crawling around the floor and bending over); I am also a little crazy about limiting screen time do you have any suggestions on how i can keep her busy? In addition, I am unable to work as I am a Behavior Analyst for Birth to Three which requires me to "be able to lift and carry 25-50 lbs" and lots of bending over "

I did not want to totally take over the post so I am going to post a bit more about my frustration here. Specifically, since I work as a contractor I am not getting paid for all of the time that I am not able to work and that is incredibly stressful not only because I need to be at least some money and love working with kids but also because I am not sure if/when I will be able to return to my job as an early interventionist. I have asked my boss if there is any office type work that I can do but unfortunately there is not. Will I need to look for a new job? What will I do?

I really need for my mind to be busy and feel a sense of control over something because although I have increased the variety of food that I am eating, I am obsessive about walking and controlling my food intake. I am now at ridiculously low weight and honestly look like a scary skeleton and while I want to gain weight I just can't seem to let go of the control. I am seeing my therapist again and sent her a manual for Cognitive Remediation Therapy for Eating Disorders and I am really hoping that it helps.