11/29

Happy Happy 35

Let’s add some fun new updates and anxiety stones 

• Overwhelming anxiety continued to build since last entry leading up to intense de ja vu, dizziness on Sunday that ended with me in the ER due to a seizure and concussion. I last remember spraying down the shower after showering and then apparently I had a seizure, fell down, and whacked my head on the bathtub. Luckily my husband found me and called 911, called my parents, and kept me safe while the ambulance came.At the ER, a CT scan showed an arachnoid tumor that “does not appear typical”.... Visit to neurologist → Keppra and 3 months no driving...3 months no driving in a job that requires me to be driving as much as I am actually interacting with clients...how do I schedule that? Oh and add in appointments for the doctor, eeg, mri, neurosurgeon, and neurologist. 
• How do i do this? My mom, Brandon, and coworkers are amazing and willing to drive me around and I am very thankful for that...unfortunately it goes directly against my intense need for control, to be on my own and by myself, to work on my own schedule and routine...and basically adding in an inordinate amount of stress. I just don’t have any idea what to do…
• Oh and most importantly, How do I entertain and socialize my daughter? She needs to go around to play groups and play dates and now I cannot even do that...she does not have siblings...she needs to be with peers…
• A few positives..
• Sent in my podcast and received wonderful feedback
• Fitness tracker is gone